.....and i realized that i have a lot to catch up on.
so.. prepare for a long long long long long post..
sorry.
where to begin..
my last post was about Mike
whom.. i am still with.. and am completely in love with.
weve been dating for almost 4 months now..  and i do have to say that while we have had a bunch of ups and downs lately..
were still going strong.
 by now youre probably wondering what im talking about.
well.. thats the long part.

up until now, things havent been that great really.
it got to a point to where i had to start sneaking around to see mike bc my parents didnt like me going out.
even tho i am 18-almost 19 (in less than a month)
i wasnt doing to great in school.. math was really giving me a problem.
and they started to blame it on seeing mike.
now.. math.. is hard.
and precalculus.. isnt easy.
i mean, they cant do high level math like i can.. so youd think theyd have some sympathy but no..
they screamed at me constantly.. and threatened to kick me out if i failed it.
first of all, I PAY FOR COLLEGE.. NOT THEM, ME. ALL BY MYSELF. ME JUST MY MONEY THAT I EARN.
and its not like.. i meant to be getting bad grades.
they thought i was doing it on purpose.
another thing; it seemed like everytime i turned around, my dad had a feeling that i was pregnant.
i mean.. naturally.. a girl craves food. i am allowed to want marshmellows or peperoni and cheese on crackers once in a while.
but everytime i wanted food, he insisted that i was pregnant.
and its none of his business what i do with my boyfriend.
and just for the record.. i wasnt and still am not pregnant.
and it just got out of control. everytime i turned around, i got yelled at for little things that didnt matter.
ya know.. not doing the dishes right away, or using too much gas in the truck (which i paid for)
doing my laundry on the wrong day.. even tho no one happened to be home for 5 hours and it had 20 min left in the DRYER when they got home from the BAR.
oh yea.. they screamed at me for laundry. and threatened to kick me out for it too.
well, one night, i came home from working all day.
it was like 730. i had to wait an hour and a half for my drunk dad to stumble out of the bar.
thats right. i sat there for an hour and 30 min after my shift at work ended at 6.
anyway.. i put tea water on and.. it was accidently the wrong burner.
and.. i almost lit a pie plate on fire.
well.. i got absolutly screamed at.
which.. i understand..
but it was more than that. they started brining up everything.
telling me im an air head, im stupid, im a college failure, i dont think,
they pretty much called me a slut bc they brought up the "youd rather skip class and be barefoot and pregnant with mikes 3rd kid he wont take care of"
yeah thats right, they started trash talking mike.. really bad. which wasnt the first time.
they just..kept putting me down over and over again.
i mean, its bad enough that ihave to worry about whether or not i have a place to stay after christmas.
so..i told them i was going for a walk.
they took my phone, so i RAN to my best friend Ri's house.
she wasnt even home.. just her dad and brother.
and her mom.. she was asleep tho.
i was crying my eyes out. and her dad had no clue what to do with me.
but they called ri and told her to come right home.
eventually she did, and her mom woke up.
they told me to stay the night.
so i went home..
i was gonna tell my parents but when i got back they immediatly started yelling again.
ri was waiting in her van for 45min for me to come out with my stuff.
 when she reved the engine, my stepmom said "that better not be for you"
i told her it was and that i wanetd to stay at ris house for the night to clear my head.
she told me not to come back.
so.. she left for work.. and i packed up what little i could: my school books, a pillow and blanket, my twilight books, computer, and my dirty laundry basket full of clothes. i went to tell my dad i was leaving. and all he could say was:
"did you get your stuff out of the bathroom?"
so i did.. and then i left.
i stayed at ris for a week. i contacted my mother in south carolina, and told her to make room for me.
i was coming home.
me and mike had been taklin about it for a while.. and he came with me.
he bought me a phone after a few days.. we bought a suitcase, and i got the plane tickets.
it was hard for a while.. bc it was hard to see him or talk to him we were constantly fighting and arguing
he even got into a big fight with ri.. and now they cant stand each other.
that was hard.. living between them..and their arguing.
two nights before they dropped me off at mikes house. i had to help him pack, and it was easier for my grandfather to pick us up from his house than two seperate places.
we spent our first night together that night.
i loved the feeling.  i hadnt had sleep that great since.. well i had been dating zac.. but thats not relevant.
i got to lay in his big warm arms all night.. we were so close i could smell his skin all over..
i slept so great that night.
when we woke up the next morning, we snuggled for hours.. and then we got a shower together.
:)
afterwards.. we walked a mile to a wawa to get food, and we finished packing.
my grandfather picked us up that night.. and we left for his house.
we stayed up late watching mikes football game. he likes the eagles.. and it would be his last chance to see a game for a  while.. so we stayed up til midnight..
then, we went to bed.
we woke up the next morning at 415. we had to be on the plane at 7:15.
we got driven to the air port.. and dropped off.
i was nervous about our bags: we had 2 big suitcases. and one personal item.
i think the personal item was too big.. but we got away with it.
i was afraid mikes bag would be too heavy.. and that we couldnt have enough money to pay for the bags.
it was too heavy.. but the lady told us to take out a few things and put it in our personal item bag so we wouldnt have to pay an overweight fee.
so.. we paid 56 dollars for our bags.. which was less than i expected.
i felt so relieved.
next was security.. i was so nervous.. it usually takes forever to get through it.. and i was afraid we wouldnt have time.
we got through real quick and easy.. we had a good 45min wait  to board.
the plane ride was mostly smooth. we hit some turbulence.. mike was a nervous wreck. he hates hights..
and every bump put him on edge.
i was so happy to see mom.she picked us up in myrlte beach.. and that was a long car ride home.
since then, things have been a lot better.
 i mean.. its a lot less stressful here, im happy to be with my mom, and i get to spend time with mike without asking for it.
 we dont have a car or jobs yet.. and i  have to re-enroll in college and start over.. but overall im happy.
id say both of us are happy.
and might i say there are no more lonely sleepless nights. :)
ive got my love sleeping right there next to me.
its a little tight here.. my mom lives in a little camper.. and while most of the time its 3 of us..
 her boyfriend and his kids come over on weekends.. so it adds up to 6.. so it gets hectac and cramped with the kids here.'
but like i said.. we are mostly happy. were saving up for a place of our own. were just staying with mom til we get on our feet.
im gonna close the blog.. its a long one.
ill be on much more often now.. probably tomorrow. :)